A Letter to Me at 30 from Mimi at 55

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Dear Younger Teresa,

If I had known these things when I was younger, I would have better understood what it means to be a mother, a woman and creation of God. In these thoughts, I see how God was working on me.  Maybe others that read these basic truths of my life will better see God at work in their lives.

  • Money comes and goes!  Love is forever.
  • You will never be sorry you foiled a meltdown with a nice long hug.
  • Never stop writing “Lunchbox Notes.” Lunchbox notes are called text messages for your adult kids.
  • Make sure you and your spouse communicate the same ideals to your children.  The stakes become much higher when your children become adults.
  • Always tell your babies about your loved ones, whether they are out of town, or previously passed away!  It is the story of who they are.
  • It is as important to show your love as it is to say it.
  • God is speaking when you are a Parent, but when you become a Grandparent, the connection seems much clearer.
  • The first child gets more of you, but the younger children get a more mature you. And it all evens out, because the younger kids are still there after the older kids leave home.
  • You cannot teach a child to not hit others, if you hit them or someone else.
  • If you are angry and exhausted, you won’t make your best decisions. Give yourself permission to step back and deal with it another time.
  • Some day your adult children will lead you in prayer.  They have much wisdom.  And for some of it, you are the facilitator.
  • Watching your awesome adult children parent, is the best of blessings.
  • Sleep is so important!

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  • We all make mistakes, but say your sorry and move on!
  • Love with all your heart, because tomorrow isn’t promised.
  • You can’t make your children forgive. Try not to see it as a failing on your part if they won’t or can’t.  They have to keep growing up so they can be a grandparent one day, also.
  • Your kids have seen your mistakes and sometimes have to live them.  If you want to change things, be intentional.
  • Tears can be dried, and can be very therapeutic.
  • Having time for just you and your husband is the most awesome of days.
  • A good marriage will benefit your family for generations!  Don’t enter into it lightly or with the wrong person.
  • Don’t worry so much about those who wronged you.  Destructive people will not prosper!  They will move on to destroying other people’s lives or their own, when they no longer are effective at destroying yours.
  • Someone who is a thorn in your side will be removed,  whether it’s by moving, change of job, or something else and usually when you least expect it.
  • Some things will happen to you that will change your life forever.  No one is exempt!  It doesn’t mean God doesn’t love you.
  • Discern what is real, from drama!  Drama doesn’t last. 
  • Your relationship with God deserves time and effort.  It is the most important relationship you’ll ever have.
  • Spoil them and send them home is not my style.  I  will never be ready for them to leave.
  • Many people in your life will come and go.  Make sure that before you give someone a piece of you, that they aren’t only just there for a season.
  • Some day you will get enough sleep!
  • You will always love your grandchildren as much as you love your children.
  • It is sad when your babies grow up, but seeing your kids have babies, more than makes up for it.
  • Give your adult kids a chance to figure out things on their own.  The wisdom isn’t in knowing what’s right, but in the journey.
  • Always be a champion for your adult children, even when they don’t want you to and you don’t understand!  You’ll never know what an impact you are making.
  • Support a strong relationship between your spouse and children, even when you feel left out or don’t understand.
  • Beware of people who think they have the right to judge you!
  • Yes, it was all worth it.  You will grow in many ways you never dreamed possible, and it comes with great joy.
  • You will want everything for your grandkids just like you do your kids!
  • It takes a village, but two well meaning parents and few grandparents can get most of it, biological or adopted by love.
  • Working for your family’s wellbeing is a noble thing.  You can be a better Mom because you have a career.  It helps you get through the hard days, when things aren’t going well.
  • Time moves quickly when you are a Parent, but moves with warp speed when you are a Grandparent.
  • Family time is important, but sometimes each generation of a family needs to retreat back to their own generation groups.
  • Each adult child deserves for you to be the best parent you can be for them.  Parent each adult child independently of the others, keeping their confidences, and secrets from your other adult kids.  Be the best parent on the face of the earth that you can be for each adult child.
  • Things that aren’t well thought out can be said at the wrong time and do an unbelievable amount of damage to your adult child!  Eating words after they come out is a whole lot harder than eating them before.
  • Tell your adult children how important it is for them to share how much you mean to them with your Grandkids. Some day you will be gone and the way your Grandchildren will be able to remember you is through their parent’s.
  • It’s okay to not know every detail of your adult child’s teenage years.  Be grateful you all lived through it and keep moving forward!
  • You will fall in love with your spouse all over again, as you watch your spouse Grandparent, just as you did watching your spouse parent.
  • When we first become parents, we are just beginning to love.  God continues to teach us to love, stretch and grow throughout our lives.  Age is wisdom!
  • It isn’t whoever ends up with the most toys that wins, but whoever ends up with the most love.
  • When you are a Grandparent, you can see the sunsets again, and the beautiful eyes hidden behind those dirty little smiles!
  • You will not love each of your children and Grandchildren the same.  You wilI love each of them for their individuality and graces.
  • Be present in the moment.  As you age, this will become even more important.  You will grow weary of repeating incomplete actions.
  • God has a plan!  You will never know when God will reveal it to you. Hang on for the big reveal! It will be way more than worth it.

Love,

Older Teresa (AKA Mimi)

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© 2017 Teresa Van Hooser

 

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